Well Wishes

Telling people about my plans to leave my life here and go live in France has been on the whole a very positive experience. In fact, most folks have been extremely supportive and enthusiastic for me. Many of my friends appear to be jealous and tell me to go for it (ostensibly because they can't), my work friends are jealous and tell me to have a great time, my family is just plain excited and can't wait to hear about my adventures (and visit me in France - they love to travel!)

My sharing of my news with folks at work has been universally positive. They are so psyched for me. It's great. They appear to be just envious of my decision. My EVP told me about her attachment to France; she goes there just about once a year with her husband - enjoys how the country is so more relaxed and unconcerned about running around and getting things done that our US colleagues. Absolutely!

The contractors who have worked for me in the past (and are still in the company, as employees or contractors) have expressed their excitement for my new adventure. Makes me feel good.

Everyone I've told at this point at work - and I waited quite a bit of time to tell them - didn't feel that they needed more than a few weeks to process this information (rightly!) - has been so incredibly supportive and excited for me. Again, I feel like I am the one they are living vicariously through in my adventures. NP.

I will have a party in my honor next week, hosted by my church choir and the Deacons at the church. I have sung in the choir almost 22 years (OMG!) and although very few match my tenure, it is a group that matters alot to me, and I look forward to being with them that evening. I joined the Deacons a year and half ago, and after being a Session Member, chair of the Finance Committee and Treasurer of the church during the past 10 years, being a part of the group that fosters community in the congregation has been a welcome change for me. It's the thing that I love most about my job at work (building community), so doing the same in my congregation was a welcome addition to my life. And the Deacons I work with feel the same way. Can't ask for more.

* * *

Dear Ari,
We don't know if you are already on your way to Europe and this new venture in your life, bu t regardless, we want to thank you for all you have contributed to our experience as part of the congregation at Western Church. We can't imagine the choir without you, and surely Tom and the others must feel the same way. We have very much appreciated your work on "The Word" and not the least your business capabilities and trying to keep us realistic about the endowment and other financial matters at the church. We will miss your savvy leadership and your many other talents that have been a blessing over the years we have been at Western.

We also appreciated being included in your party and will miss having the opportunity to get to know you better.

May God bless you in the coming years and hopefully your journey will someday leads you back here.

Roxana and Jim

* *

Nice to hear from folks. It makes life worth it.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter in my life. But I wouldn't trade my experiences and relationships with those at Western for anything in the world. That's life. Thanks to all of you who are my family at Western. I love you deeply.

Resignation

I resigned!

It took a week, but on Monday I finally had a chance to catch up with my boss, David, and share the news of my adventure - and let him know of my resignation. We exchanged a few emails that morning before work, and I asked him for some time to talk. He was curious, and called me when I got in the office to know if there was something troublesome I needed to consult with him on (since I'm working on separate project from him). I said, No, just would like to catch up, since we hadn't seen each other in a week. Which, on the whole, is not a big deal, generally, since I'm not doing much that requires that we connect regularly.

I thought quite a bit about how I wanted to share the news with him, since we have shared a fairly good relationship since he hired me in January two years ago, and I felt bad at some level to be leaving him. (Yes, I know, not my problem!) But in the end, I just told him I wanted time off, and that meant I was going to leave the company. He took it very calmly, frankly, admitting that he had thought something was up, as I had recently passed on some opportunities that he had put in front of me, and he wasn't sure why. There were several possible reasons, of course (perhaps including the one that I was working full time on another project?). And then he shifted into his "management" mode, and started quizzing me on whether I was happy in my work, whether or not I was looking for more compensation or more opportunity, or if there was something that I was not able to do that forced me to take this road.

Well, I wasn't completely happy, and I told him that, but more money was not going to change my mind. And things were generally going very well for me at the company. He started to do some career counseling with me, which was fine, because in the course of discussing other opportunities in the company, I was able to express my desire to manage the communication of this news with others, including my day-to-day boss, Don and his SVP. If I ever want to come back to Fannie, maintaining a good relationship with those with whom I have worked over the past two and a half years matters to me.

We finally got to the part (I think, but this conversation was pretty wide-ranging, so my memory is not that great) with him asking me what I was going to do, and I told him, go live in France - and he asked, why not Italy? since he's Italian (Sicilian, really, but who's asking?). I think I left him thinking that I just needed time off and would be back in a few months looking for another job. Which may happen, or may not!

I told David I would try and speak to Don that day as well, as David told me he would be available then to answer Don's call if Don didn't take the news so well. I thought Don would be fine with the whole thing - except for the part where he would be concerned about how to manage without me - and I was right.

I caught Don a little by surprise with my news. I had asked for a few minutes to speak with him before another meeting - but he didn't have any clues to decipher ahead of time, so the news hit him full frontal. But Don is a very matter of fact guy, and took my explanation that way. I told him that I had wanted to take some time off, to live overseas, and had planned to do it at the end of his project. But then the project implementation date changed (not once, but twice!), but that I had already bought my ticket, rented my condo, and it was time to go. He got that, it's been a crazy time in the past three months, but he couldn't let the moment go by without the request that I stay on for a few more months to help him through the post-conversion time period. But he knew as he said that, that he couldn't promise me that everything would go as planned - things rarely do!

He then started thinking about how to do things without me. And for this I was prepared, thanks to David's prompting. I painted a scenario of staffing so that the team could go forward and manage without me. And that reassured him a little bit, I think. And then we talked about what I was planning to do; and he told me that if I wanted a job when I came back in a year, I should definitely come back and talk to him. That was nice. I've enjoyed working for Don, and would happily do so again. So few people are really sane. He's one of them.

And that was that. The much-thought about conversations had occurred, with a four week cushion for my bosses to manage through the transition. And I had gotten the OK from both of them that I would share the news personally with their bosses, Mike and Linda. For which I was also grateful, since I have worked directly with both of them, and it was my desire for them to hear the news from me.

Tomorrow morning I have two minutes with Mike.

So, no fireworks, nothing left hanging in the air unsaid, just straight-forward questions and answers, Don's congratulations and David's positive strokes and finally, "I'm sad that you are leaving."

But, I felt great afterwards. Free, free at last. I was so empowered by the experience, that I left David's office, went downstairs and bought a dark chocolate Dove bar at the sundry shop on the ground floor of the building and sat in the midday sun in the courtyard and ate the whole thing.

David asked, were you nervous when you bought your ticket? I said, No. It was the easiest thing I'd ever done.

So far, everything is falling into place. But more on that later.

Fannie Mae and Me

For those of you tracking such things, this was the week I was going to tell my boss I was quitting next month. Well, the context in which I was going to share this news has radically changed over the past 8 days!

As most of you know, a Lehman analyst's critique of Fannie Mae last Monday led to a uncontrolled swirl in the financial markets that ended last Friday with the near meltdown in the prices of the shares of both Fannie and Freddie Mac. Even assurances by Treasury Secretary Paulson and Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke couldn't stem the tide. A hastily (but not thoughtlessly) prepared "plan" to help out Freddie and Fannie was announced by the White House on Sunday night, but as market watchers know, that has not consoled the markets. As of this writing, Fannie stock is at around $7. When I joined the company it was in the 60's. It's been a quick spiral downward.

For the record, although Fannie Mae is not making any public announcements (because it is in the quiet period before it releases its second quarter financials), the institution has never asked the government for help.

I called my boss Friday at midday from my office in Herndon (where I was working that day), because I learned that the COO, my ultimate boss, was going to hold a town hall that afternoon for his direct staff (which could include me). I couldn't make it to the event in Washington, so I asked David to let me know what Mike was going to say to the staff, as I was eager to know what I could about what was going on. David called me later in the day after the meeting, and although he tried to be assuring, he didn't do a very good job. According to David, Mike didn't say much. My frustration was more in not having been in the room to hear what was said; I was still very bullish on the company, and had not had any indication that the company was going under, as the market at that moment was predicting. Earlier in the day, David had sent around an email to his direct reports, recounting his own experience at Apple during the crazy days when that company was tanking, and giving us the (oh, very encouraging) advice to stick to our knitting, but that wasn't very reassuring either. He was surprised, I think at my level of anxiety, and I thought as I hung up the phone with him that he would be pretty damn surprised when I told him the following week that I was leaving the company!

I was planning to tell David yesterday, at the end of the day, about my plans, but I was thwarted. He took off on a business trip (earlier than I had expected) and won't be back until Friday, when I will be down in Norfolk for the weekend. So, I will tell him next week. All those anxious thoughts over the weekend about how to tell him, what his reaction will be, were for naught, and hopefully not to be repeated this weekend!

So friends, although it may look like I've made the decision to leave Fannie Mae at a fortuitous time, I must say that it's a good company to work for, and I wouldn't mind going back. But there's a long road ahead for the company in this legislative environment and the crazy market. These pressures have already had an impact inside the company and its employees, and the management will have a big task ahead of them to keep people focused. But I joined the company to work on the largest project ever undertaken by Fannie, the restatement of its financials for the years 2001-2004, and the project finished ahead of time and with an amazing sense of teamwork, so I am confident that the company, under its present leadership, will ride out this storm successfully.

January Lookback - Preparations

I've not been sleeping through the night for a while, it seems, so I started a sleep log this week, and I've been recording at what times I wake up in the night. Unfortunately it went from once, to twice a night, since I started. Self-fulfilling prophecy?? I had a very vivid dream last night, that I shared with a friend of mine who called today to tell me of a big job change. I had already described to her my new year's resolution, and then told her the dream. My interpretation was different from hers, but I think hers was a perhaps truer interpretation. In the dream, I am picked up (by the side of the road?) by some people and I think they are taking me to a town or somewhere I can catch a train. And I get to the town with them, and I ask where the train station (or bus station, or some sort of transportation for where I want to go) is, and they tell me not to worry about it – there really isn’t that kind of transportation nearby. Another man appears in the dream and tells me to relax and not worry about it, and I end up having a sexual encounter with this man (who does not have a face I remember), but that is another story.... I took away from the dream that I should not worry about my plans for leaving, that things will work out. This was because I had just read through the Consulate requirements for getting a carte de sejours and was starting to have angst about when I would need to apply, etc., etc. My friend saw the other side of the dream, that I was anxious to get on the train and get moving - get on with realizing my plan - and I didn't disagree! I am already thinking about when I will not be at work anymore, who I will tell first, how they will react, and thinking about how I must keep myself engaged so that I continue to do good work through the rest of my time there..... (The sexual encounter, well, let's just say I am dreaming about them now, since I’m not having them.....)

February Lookback - Preparations

I was at a Bach Consort event tonight at the Rockefeller's home in Rock Creek Park. This is an event we invite all our corporate supporters to - they like the accessibility to the Senator (most of them are lobbyists for their companies) and it's just a beautiful home with lovely art (Cassatt, Sargeant, etc.) on the walls. It's a reception event, but they also have to listen to the Senator talk about Bach (he can go on for hours) and we have a musical offering as well. Tonight my voice teacher performed pieces by Vivaldi, Handel and Bach. She sounded great. This evening was my opportunity to tell some of my fellow board members about my decision to leave the country - and resign from the board at the end of the year. Given that many of them saw me as the next president, this felt a little awkward. But my current President has been telling everyone, and they’ve been waiting for me to tell them…. There were two I needed to talk to personally tonight, and I managed to get through the spiel quickly in the midst of other conversations. The woman I have put off telling, but knew I had to tonight, is the Senator's former Chief of Staff (and Hillary Clinton’s current Chief of Staff), and has really believed in me, and thought of me as the next great President (for whatever reason, but that is what she told the Senator). I cornered her as she was leaving, and got to explain that I was just seizing the moment, had considered not doing it because of the Consort, but now was the right time for me --- but she really wasn't buying it. I was rescued by the Senator. He came over and she started to explain that I was not going to be the next President and I took over and told him I was taking an opportunity to live overseas. He looked me in the eye and said he thought that was a great idea - that he fully supported it. He said that too many get caught up in the cycle of their lives and think of themselves as bigger than they really are (he was thinking of his Senate colleagues) but he said again that he thought it was great (or something like that). Tamera was a little flummoxed by his response, and while she was fumbling, I thanked his sincerely for his words and told him it meant alot to me. The Bach Consort couldn't exist without the Senator at the moment, so it was important to me (at some metaphysical level) that he was OK with me disappearing from the scene. Crossed that one off my list!

The Latest Quandry

The latest quandry is whether or not to bring my road bike with me to France. I have been doing alot of biking, and friends who know this are encouraging me to bring my bike. I'm thinking about the hassle of getting it on the plane, but maybe I should be thinking about what it would be like to have it with me in Nice. Or not having it with me. Hmmm.

I've been biking since I was a kid; we always had bikes and did biking as a family every once in a while. After college, I commuted on my bike through Central Park to work on 49th and Madison Avenue from the Upper West Side during the summer. My friends Lysle and Paul got me hooked on biking, I think. They used to take me across the GW Bridge to NJ and Route 9 (is that it?) up toward Bear Mountain. Those were great bike rides. After they left NYC, I still went biking up there. (Lysle competed on the Women's Tour for a while; she and Paul are still racing in Seattle.)

When I moved to DC, I brought my bike, and did bikes up through Rock Creek Park - having been introduced to them with Lysle and Paul (who preceded me in DC, but then promptly left for the Northwest when I moved here!). I commuted on my bike to law school and when studying for the bar, spent the summer biking, running and swimming, in preparation for my first Triathlon. That's when I bought my first real road bike, which I took with me to Cape Cod for vacation (and training) and had some great rides up to Provincetown from Orleans.

When I started work in DC, I didn't bike so much, but I still had them around for spins in the Arboretum with Greg Klein, or around Hains Point in the early morning.

In Philadelphia, I used my bike to commute from downtown to West Philly, and Bob and I did a lot of biking in the Park, which had great bike paths.

Back in Virginia after b-school, Bob and I did a bit of biking, but it wasn't until 2003 when we joined friends Maggie and Charlie on a Backroads Tour in Normandy and Brittany, France, that I became hooked on long distance biking.

After my divorce, I started biking with friend Tom, who introduced me to the Potomac Peddlars here in the DC area. (My sister and her family have also always been game for a good bike along the Potomac in DC.) I did a few Saturday morning bikes with the group, but it was more fun to do them with Tom - more fun to have someone to share the scenery and tales of the trip and a beer afterward. In 2006 we decided to do the September Club event, but even amid kidding suggestions amongst us that we do the Century (100 mile) ride, we chickened out and did the Metric Century (100 KM, ~66 miles). We were determined not to be whankers the next year, and did some heavy duty preparation in 2007. We trained so well that the 100 miles in September didn't feel like the enormous mountain that we thought we had to climb. The Hills of Maryland ride (~75 miles) that we'd done a few weeks before had seemed much more challenging, somehow. This year, we've been trying to find a century that happens before I leave in August. Turns out the Reston club has a century on August 24th, the day before I leave for Nice. Why not?

What to Bring and What to Leave Behind

So, leaving for a foreign country for an indeterminate amount of time. Probably at least three months, potentially forever. How do you plan for that? What do I bring? That's not the hard question. What to leave behind? That's the problem.

Taking advice from people who know, I am getting rid of a lot of furniture. Happily, my family is interested in a good number of pieces I like. The only thing I'll need to put on Craig's List is my queen bed. The other furniture that will stay in storage are each pieces that come from my grandparents. Items that mean something to me. My maternal grandfather's desk and dining room table, my paternal grandparent's glass-topped table and reupholstered love seat (gift from my mom and dad). I want those ties to my past. The LLBean Kitchen set, not so important.

Preparations - The Said and Unsaid

So, it's July, and I leave the States on August 25. Six weeks, roughly. And I have done all the very important things: rented my condo, bought my ticket to France, let everyone know that I am leaving...oops, not quite. Haven't told my boss yet, plan to, but haven't yet. I want to time it so that he has time to deal, but not enough time to stew. Actually I have two bosses I need to reveal my plans to, and lots of other people at work too, but I will try and intuit the best path when the time comes. Presently, knowing that my boss has his entire family in town next week, I plan to tell him the week after. Hopefully, a month's notice will be generous for them, but not impossible for me to deal with.

If I haven't told anyone at work (but I do have one confidante there, happily, who has kept me sane), I've told everyone else I work with, and, most importantly, with everyone at my church, where I am an active participant in many activities. I've also shared the news (early on) with my volunteer board, where I was on the path to become President, but did my part by trying to identify a worthy successor. I've told my former colleagues and friends, and of course, my family, who were instrumental in making me believe this was something to pursue NOW. They have been wonderfully supportive, in fact, everyone has! Thank you to all my wonderful friends and family, you will be my inspiration on this next chapter of my life.

Preparations

Welcome to my blog, henceforth known as the Chronicles of Ari's Adventure. Not everyone picks up and leaves a very comfortable life in the US and heads off to the Continent, but that's what I'm about to do. Why? Because I can. Because I want to. Here's where you will find me chronicling my trials and tribulations and of course my ecstatically exuberant tales of living in France!